Yep. That’s pretty much all I think about these days.
I read somewhere that if a pregnant mother has fears that she hasn’t addressed or if she feels unprepared, that her body can slow down the birthing process. I started feeling contractions on Monday and it really felt like things were getting serious, and, I’ll admit, I was nervous and feeling not quite ready.
So, this week has been all about mental preparation and crossing off my to-do list items. I decided it was time to get everything done that I had been putting off and get it out of my head so that I can be clear and focused. I want my mind and body clear for this birth. I understand that things can’t always be mapped out exactly the way I want them to be, and I’ve accepted that. Tarrell has been instrumental in helping me address my fears about giving birth and also about being away from Knox for longer than I’d like and I am so thankful to have him as a partner through this. He is going to be the best support I could ever ask for, I can tell.
Now I finally feel like I have come to terms with all of the things that have been nagging at me for the past several months. I’ve typed up my special requests for the hospital staff (I’m sure they’re waiting with bated breath to read it!), I’ve packed the bags, studied my breathing and labor positioning techniques, I’ve cleaned and cleaned and cleaned and cleaned my house… I’ve even created a music playlist for the big event (I amused myself by adding some relevant titles to the list such as Cat Stevens’ I’m On My Way!, The Verve’s The Drugs Don’t Work, The Elected’s Come On, Mom and Don’t Blow It, and Sam Bush’s King of the World. Maybe I’ll post the rest of the list later? It’s a good one.)
So, now that all of that is done I’ve kind of started creating things that weren’t really on my list, or doing things on my list that I kind-of, never really intended to do before she came. Not that I’m swimming in extra time here, I should be lying down and resting while Knox is napping but my brain won’t turn off, so I end up inventing things that have to get done.
Hopefully, she won’t wait around too much longer. I’m ready to experience this birth, meet this little person and get back home and started with our new lives.